| without you |
[Jun. 22nd, 2004|07:10 pm] |
Schools out and I find myself to be getting into trouble a lot lately...
but at least IM not getting CAUGHT!
I pulled an all nighter last night. It was sweet. Havent done that ina while! Love u jax and steph
I find myself to be slipping further and futher away from myself..theres this one country song and...well... here..
I've sure enjoyed the rain,
But I'm looking forward to the sun.
You have to feel the pain,
When you lose the love you gave someone.
I thought by now that time,
Would take away these lonely tears.
I hope you're doing fine all alone,
But where do I go from here?
'cause Without you I'm not okay,
And without you I've lost my way.
My heart's stuck in second place,
Well I never thought I'd be
lying here without you by my side.
It seems unreal to me,
that the life you promised was a lie.
You made it look so easy,
making love into memories.
I guess you got what you wanted,
but what about me?
Without you I'm not okay,
And without you I've lost my way.
My heart's stuck in second place.
ooh ,Without you.
Somebody tell my head to try to tell my heart,
That I'm better off without you.
........and thats how the story ends... |
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| Friends? |
[Jun. 8th, 2004|11:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
this may never start
we could fall apart/
and i'd be your memory/
losing half a year
waiting for you here/
can i be your anything? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2004|10:51 pm] |
I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more than this time with you,
Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I have's come true,
And right here in this moment, Is right where I'm meant to be,
Here with you, Here with me. . .
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| I need bands |
[May. 2nd, 2004|09:58 pm] |
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SO my dad just recently got involved in this business deal and baught this place where he wants to put on a show. We'd be payin the bands and everything its going to be real tight except for the whole thing of....
I dont know any bands that are local that I've seen or heard that have kicked my ass....none yet..none
So, If you know any bands who can kick my ass and would apreciate about 150$ to play in a show around the Middle of June drop me a comment because I would really like for this whole thing to work out.
E-mail: rockergrl310@yahoo.com
Sn: x0taintedheart0x (AOL)
names Rachel.....holla |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2004|06:33 pm] |
So my friend told me not to be mad at her anymore and to just be okay with everything and let all thats new take its own path. My other friend told me I should still be pissed off and let it consume my being and never forgive. Its hard when your fighting with your self I say...andlately I have only been friends with myself.
to forgive or not to forgive.....that is the question |
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| Its pretty shitty... |
[Apr. 1st, 2004|08:02 am] |
I feel safe with you
unselfish words
explaining every crack and bruise
every word- every void
I feel scared with you
trusting you with my
exposed feelings
setting myself free of
the underlying pain
I feel loved by you
adolescent feelings subsided
as maturity invades my heart
experiencing something
I never knew was possible
I’d be lost without you
needing a hand to hold
my ruptured heart
needing ventilation |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 28th, 2004|05:30 pm] |
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I never wanted the determining factor of my happiness to be a guy. I have always been a firm believer of self-happiness and how its no one elses respondsiblity to make you happy..happiness is up to you. I based this on the ways of my mother who-all 37 years of her life- have tried to make her unhappiness other peoples fault. I dont want to be like my mother who got pregnent numerous times just to try and keep the same guy in her life....to keep her happy. So, I was determined never to be like her..I never wanted to let guys be what controls me. And, I have stuck to that...at least until now.
ive fallen under your spell..
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| "I got sublime song in my head and a rock in my shoe"... |
[Mar. 25th, 2004|07:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
Have any of you ever felt like you just dont know what they want from you anymore. You know who they is..they is parents. They is the people who you know that you want to get away from, but realize you probably woudlnt do towell without. I realize that im 17, but do they? Do they know how old I am? Cause if they do then i'd be surprised. You know sometimes I cant tell if they think I am older...or if they think I am like 12 or something. My dad is always talking about how I need to grow up, but when it comes down to letting me do grown-up things or even attempting to treat me like one...the whole your too young speech gets thrown into my face. And, for some reason my dad seams to think I have failed him. Somehow he thinks that Im the bad kid, that I do something wrong. I dont. I cant think of one thing that I do wrong. Grades are good and I dont get into trouble with the law and get MIPs and shit. ITs not me. Im a good kid, I have always been. He has no reason not to trust me, and no reason to think other wise of me goodness. So, I asked him last night and he said the reason he is so pissed at me is because I cost him too much money, his reason said that I have no clue the value of a dollar...that i just spend spend spend and i dont even have a job. WELL LOOK FUCKER I cant MAKE them hire me alright...and I cant MAKE people pay me. You want me to work so fucking BAD you want me to make money..YOU FUCKING HELP me find a job....hes constantly telling me how worthlessi am...how..I...dont fir up to his standards as a daughter. Hes always compareing me to his life at 17. LOOK DAD i kno your dad died when you were 16 and IM SORRY you had to work from 11-5am then go to skool then come home and sleep and do it all again. IM FUCKING SORRY your not dead alright. IM SORRY i cant be what you were...and IM EVEN MORE SORRY that I'm never going to be dad. IM SORRY I dont fit into your standards...I FUCKING NEVER WILL. Why cant you see that alls I am is Rachel..Im me alright. I always will be. All you can do from here on out is hope that i make the right decisions insted of the wrong ones...and i have faith that you have taught me the difference...and I have faith that my decisions will all be good ones. I dont know what you want from me...I dont know what I have to prove...but Im past the point of doing things for you anymore. Its about me now Dad. Everything I do...I DONT do for you. I do it for me. I always will.
Oh and by the way... FUCK YOUR WIFE.
Depressed? Maybe..
Suacidal? Nope
Angry? Oh the anger had just begun
Annoyed? yep
Sad? beyond....
Loved? posssibly....
Have any of you ever felt like you just dont know what they want from you anymore? |
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| hmmmm |
[Mar. 24th, 2004|04:39 pm] |
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| Like A Summer Rose... |
[Mar. 24th, 2004|04:30 pm] |
I just don't know what to do with myself
I Don't know what to do with myself
Planning everything for two
Doing everything with you
And now that we're through
I Just dont know what to do
I just don't know what to do with myself
I dont know what to do whith myself
Movies only make me sad
Parties make me feel bad
Cause I'm not with you
I just don't know what to do
Like a summer rose
Needs the sun and rain
I need your sweet love to feel all the way
Well I don't know what to do with myself
Just don´t know what to do whith myself
Planning everything for two
Doing everything with you
And now that we're through
I just dont know what to do..
Like a summer rose
Needs the sun and rain
I need your sweet love to feel all the way
I just don't know what to do with myself
Just don´t know what to do whith myself
Just don´t know what to do whith myself
I dont know what to do whith myself |
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